I like stability. Is it my age? My education? My upbringing? Probably it is a mix of all three. The beauty of control systems is they are designed so a little instability doesn’t rock the boat.

When I started thinking about the old adage, “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” I was struck, as though by lightning, but the observation that in fact in order for things to stay the same, they must¹or shall change.

The thing about old adages is we rarely examine them for what they mean in our lives. My new position²Not so new anymore four months in has provided me with a new perspective. 

Even before that, I would often think about societal and cultural rules. Who makes them? Who decided you couldn’t wear white after Labor Day in the US? In defiance of this rule, I often wear my white pants in winter. I like them, they fit, and it makes a statement in my head saying, “I’m an not going to follow such a silly rules!³Enjoying the thought that I am a rebel here” 

I used to think there was someone, or some group⁴Like the mice in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, that decided things like how much makeup was the acceptable amount or what the length of skirts should be or what counted as business casual or what colors would be available for shirts at the mall. The only part of that I knew for sure was that I was not part of the group of deciders, so I had to fit my choices into what was available.

That isn’t exactly how it works. I hope. And yet, the alternative is a little scary too. I think the dichotomous nature inside me⁵And I think inside most people living in our culture is that I want things to stay the same concurrent with wanting adventure and change and surprises⁶I say I don’t like surprises, but it is probably that I don’t like surprises that don’t make me happy.

In order for things to stay the “same”, there also has to be some movement because humans are not bodies, or emotions, at rest. To me, this implies the concept of hysteresis. That you can repeat a movement.

Hysteresis is not staying the same. It is not staying at all. It is going through motions, or emotions, that are repeatable. Recognizable. It is me staying in this lofty position while still trying to improve. On Christmas Eve, even though I am Santa, I somehow wish for an unexpected gift. And yet, even if I am trying to improve, I know returning to the previous pinnacle might be enough. Or it might not be. But the process of getting to the height I knew is familiar. Repeatable. Achievable. 

Hysteresis can be a tool in designing a system. Stasis is hard to achieve – staying still at a pinnacle of money, power, joy – is almost impossible. Instead, if the design of a system accounts for a little movement, good or bad, that returns you to a nexus, then there is a chance you will, in fact, stay in that nexus.

Stability isn’t stasis. Control systems aren’t always the answer. I find myself more and more being open to things I can’t control as they seem to bring benefits I don’t expect. When I was younger, I hated surprises. As time goes by, surprises have more potential, for me, to bring joy. So I am more open to the unexpected. You know. Like that promotion I didn’t even know I was being considered for.

So in my mind, the adage has changed. The more you want things to stay the same, the more you need to make room for a little change. I am going to revisit this thought a few times, I believe. You know, letting my thoughts change in order for them to stay the same.