Back in 2019, with all that traveling I did, not all of it was for work. Me, Husband, BigOne and LittleOne spent some time in Virginia Beach with NumberOneNiece. It was fun. We went parasailing. (Glad I did it. Will never do it again!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After NumberOneNiece went home, we stayed a few extra days. During one walk, called Family Walk, along the boardwalk, LittleOne once again asked if we could get a dog. Or another cat. Or any pet so he could talk to the pet every night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I said, \u201cHow about a plant?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LittleOne was not impressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At that time, BigOne was 15 about to turn 16. I, in my infinite wisdom of parenting, was harassing them[1]<\/sup><\/a> to get a job. In my mind, it was time. I, and Husband (I think), feel strongly that it is important to work in the world. I think it is important to earn your own money, save, and figure out how to afford the life you want to live. 16 seems a reasonable time to the State, and to me, to begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Since the idea of a pet did not attract me much, I started in on BigOne on all the places they could apply. Go with what you like to buy, I said. Starbucks? Pizza Hut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n BigOne was not impressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the conversation became more intense, I was struck by a brilliant idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To BigOne: \u201cYou do not have to get a job this year IF you will commit to spending five minutes every night talking to your brother about whatever he wants to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n To LittleOne: \u201cWe are not getting a pet. Your brother[2]<\/sup><\/a> will talk with you every night about whatever you want to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n At this point, little one was eleven. Eleven-year-olds can pick the strangest things to talk about. For LittleOne, most of them come from YouTube and I have no idea what he is talking about with MrBeast or PewDiePie or\u2026 what is the latest one? Oh yes! TechnoBlade. BigOne was closer to the topics. They, at least, share being part of the same generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was almost two years ago. It seems further in the past somehow because five minutes has become \u201cFive Minutes\u201d and it has been a remarkable success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I try very hard not to listen to what they talk about mostly because the YouTube stuff drives me crazy. We have had to intervene, from time to time, when it started to turn into a fight or one of them was pushing too hard about a topic under debate. It isn\u2019t perfect, but it has given them a place to start their lifelong relationship as people who are brothers who like each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It all started with me wanting something from BigOne, LittleOne wanting something from me, and me deciding to compromise with both of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parenting is hard. Sometimes it seems the best things I have done as a parent came from these strange conversations we have on Family Walk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay open to ideas that come out of nowhere but change relationships for the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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