{"id":411,"date":"2022-09-10T19:30:16","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T19:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lettersforzerrius.com\/?p=411"},"modified":"2022-09-10T19:30:16","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T19:30:16","slug":"why-dont-we-think-about-cinderellas-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/2022\/09\/10\/why-dont-we-think-about-cinderellas-father\/","title":{"rendered":"Why don\u2019t we think about Cinderella\u2019s father?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I just love the story of Cinderella in all its different forms. There are movies1<\/a><\/sup>Ever After<\/em>, the Disney one, Into the Woods<\/em><\/span>, books2<\/a><\/sup>Mercedes Lacky has written at least two, and Julia Quinn\u2019s, An Offer from a Gentleman<\/em> is quite enjoyable.<\/span>, many versions of the fairy tale in collections for children, musicals3<\/a><\/sup>Into the Woods<\/em> and that Rodgers and Hammerstein version<\/span>. So many ways to tell the tale of a girl with a wicked step-mother who overcomes the odds to marry the Prince4<\/a><\/sup>Not addressing the wisdom of that as a life goal right now<\/span>,5<\/a><\/sup>Also. Yes. I put Into the Woods<\/em> twice. Love that show.<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the other day I was thinking, why DON\u2019T we think about Cinderella\u2019s father?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I wanted to spark a debate, I started to ask the question, \u201cYou know I was thinking about Cinderella\u2019s father\u2026\u201d and the response I got was, \u201cCinderella didn\u2019t have a father.\u201d From a man. Who is a father. And a very good father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was confused. How could a child not have a father? It wasn\u2019t that we were watching one of the many ways our culture has retold the Cinderella story. I had a point I wanted to make, but he was absolutely confused on why I would talk about Cinderella\u2019s father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I didn’t get to enjoy my debate there, I will make my point here. Cinderella\u2019s father is the epitome of what the author wants us to think of as benign neglect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Except I don’t think neglect can be benign. It may happen without evil intent, and I may be able to make up for the neglect. But I might not be able to. Sometimes, not watching the stove after you have turned it on means the house gets set on fire. Sometimes it means your tea kettle gets ruined. The results of neglect are not predictable. But, just because you didn\u2019t intend bad things to happen, your actions6<\/a><\/sup>Or in this case inactions<\/span> were a contributing factor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinderella\u2019s father is the story of neglect. I mean yes, the wicked step mother is wicked and chose to act in a way to torture Cinderella. But how did she get there? Through her father\u2019s neglect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, Cinderella\u2019s father is alive but not concerned with her plight. Sometimes, he is dead. Either way, he did not fulfill his duty to raise, protect, and prepare his daughter for the place in the world she was born into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, some will say, \u201cAlls well that ends well.\u201d But the really interesting thing to me is how a good father, an engaged father, a kind man, could just not register that there should have been a father in the Cinderella story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps this bothers me so much because I don\u2019t accept only the characters who speak and act are the ones that are important in a story. In this case, the lack of action is what sets in motion the drama. Only because Cinderella\u2019s father was such a bad father (alive or dead) is she able to be subject to the will of her stepmother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think, in order to improve our world, we need to talk about characters like Cinderella\u2019s father in order to reduce the risk that we become those characters. It is an interesting side of human nature that I have observed that people will forgive themselves for actions that they condemn others for. If we are protecting someone we love, it is ok to break the rules. If we are reaching for love ourselves, it is ok to ignore societal norms. And luckily, in America we get to make those choices. Unfortunately, in American, we are more likely to also have to accept the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A final point on Cinderella\u2019s father is this \u2013 I have never read a story where he faces the consequences for his inactions. This is infuriating. There are always consequences for our actions and inactions. Sometimes for us. Sometimes for others. But I believe it is important to strive to see those consequences. Partially so I can avoid the bad ones, but also because it is part of being mindful. It is part of accepting my space in the world. You, me, everyone \u2013 we have an effect. If each of us only looks for our good effects \u2013 honestly? I think we are cheating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being aware of my effects on the world is being kind. While it is important to be thoughtful7<\/a><\/sup>Obviously, Cinderella\u2019s father was not thoughtful<\/span>, it is also important to be kind. The two work best when they go hand in hand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just love the story of Cinderella in all its different forms. There are movies, books, many versions of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=411"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/411\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynamic.lettersforzerrius.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}